Quarantine Gratitude.

First things, first. This is not another post about how we should all be respecting the decisions our various leaders have taken in response to COVID-19, neither is it a post consisting of a list of things to do whilst in Quarantine – not implying that any of the posts in relation to COVID-19 are not important – but this post is about expressing gratitude whilst in quarantine.

Majority of the world is in lockdown or quarantine or in self-isolation. The pandemic has caused such great panic and distraught that it has become very hard to look on the bright side or to have anything to be grateful for. Corona Virus is always on the tip of our tongues, it has become a conversation starter. South Africa is on Day Three of our Lockdown and honestly, I am pretty tired of hearing about it, speaking about it and thinking about it. This morning I choose to start shifting my focus a bit onto something better. Gratitude. I have chosen to immerse myself in gratitude. Not only is there power in expressing gratitude during times of stress and uncertainty but it is also good for your mental health.

This morning I was on the phone with my aunt and she started telling me how proud she is of me, and that she knows that even though unemployment is a difficult predicament to face but she believes and has hope that things will start looking up for me. I am an avid believer that God places people in our lives for specific reasons and I believe that one of the many reasons why my aunt is a part of my life (regardless of her being my mother’s sister) is because of that conversation we had. Today, I choose to express gratitude for her and the relationship we have. I am so thankful that even though globally, we are faced with a crisis, that even though we are faced with nervous conditions, I have an aunt who is like a mother to me to encourage me along the way and to love me unconditionally. In spite of it being her birthday today, she expressed such a selfless act and I am so thankful for her and her life.

I hope this post encourages you to stay hopeful and to express gratitude in trying times. Gratitude is a way for us to appreciate what we have instead of what we lack. It will also open up doors that can only be opened by gratitude. Appreciating what we have now, today, will allow God and the Universe to give us all our desires and more than what we have.

Happy Quarantining Days. This too shall pass. You will not die.

* Social distance yourself.

* Wash your hands.

* Express gratitude.

Captured Before The Lockdown.

Conversations With Nomz Turns A Year Old 🎈

On the 10th of March 2019, I took a leap of faith and said ‘f*ck it lets do this.’ I started this blog and little did I know how great it would turn out and how it would bring so much joy and healing for me. I’ve always been a writer but I had never thought anything would come out of that hobby. In this article I will be sharing with you five important things I have learnt from blogging.

Do Not Compare Yourself.

Every blogger / writer has a different story to tell and a different mark to leave. Just as we are all different individuals on different journeys, so are our blogs. I have had difficulty accepting this or rather difficulty not comparing my blog to the next persons blog until I started making it a habit to remind myself that my blog is here for a different reason and I created it for a different purpose than the next person created theirs.

Comparison is the thief of joy and there is so much truth in this saying. The more one compares themselves to others the more we are unhappy with ourselves. It is the same with being a blogger, the more I compare my blog to the next persons blog, the less I see the beauty of my own and the greatness I am serving and receiving back.

The second important thing I have learnt is that, everything takes time!! I always say that the problem with me is that I want to build Rome in one day. I am slowly but surely attuning all of me to deeply know that everything takes time, all I need to do is to keep at it and trust in the process. Writing / blogging, like most creative endeavours, is something that will take time. Gaining a following with it will take time. Making money from it will take time. But since it has become my passion I know that waiting is part of trusting the process. “Do not despise these small beginning” – Zechariah 4 vs 10. Need I say more.

I am a brand.

My values, what I stand for, what I believe in, what people see when they see me, what I associate myself with – these are some of the aspects that make me a brand and my blog has to align with the brand I am and constantly evolving into. To build a strong audience and to take up space in society, one needs know who they are and to know who they are serving. Writing and having a blog has made me see that the gifts and talents you have are not for you but for the world to experience. In other words, I am sharing my gift of writing to influence and to heal and that is the kind of brand I am building for myself and my blog.

Be authentic.

In the year that I have been blogging, I have learnt to embody authenticity because that is what will draw in attract your audience, the people that this blog was created for. Authenticity and vulnerability are what makes me human and this is what people are yearning for. I am an avid believer of the fact that one should not release anything to the public if it was not made wholeheartedly, for me to post an article I have to immense myself in it and I have to feel it deeply.

And lastly, love what you do and do what you love. Everything after that will be a beautiful journey.

Happy Birthday To My Blog. 🎈

Thank you to all my readers for being a part of my journey and for being so patient and kind, and so very supportive!! I appreciate you all and I appreciate all the feedback I receive. It does not go unnoticed. Love and eternal peace to you all.💕

A Recipe For Mastering Your Emotions.

Lately, I have been feeling really content and emotionally whole and that is because I am on a journey of mastering my emotions. I call it a journey because it does not end, it has no final destination and I do not think that I will ever reach a point where I confidently say that “I have mastered my emotions” because there will be days where I am not feeling emotionally whole or content. I am learning to be in control of my emotions – that is the only thing we can be in control of in life. We can make plans but ultimately we have no control of whether or not they pan out that way, and most of the time they don’t.

In this article I will be delivering to you guys a recipe for mastering your emotions that has been working for me. It has guided me to feeling lighter and more content and has placed me in a place where I rarely have episodes where I am feeling distraught and fail to find a reason why.

Have A Morning Routine.

Wake up early and seize the day. I always say that what you do in the morning, will set the tone of your day. Most of the time, if your morning is slow and not productive then the chances of your day turning out to be productive are very slim. Waking up late will have you missing out on half the day, time waits for no one and it is important to use your time wisely. Productive and clear mornings provide smooth days.

Wake up early, between 6am and 6.45am and have a prayer/meditation session for 10 to 15minutes. This will bring about clear thoughts and a calm spirit. Most of the time the first thing we do is check our phones and by doing that we are already and automatically internalizing outer energy and whatever is going on around you. You instantly become a thermostat whereas when you meditate and/or pray first; you choose how you are going to feel that morning.

After your prayer and/or meditation session, exercise. Go for a jog or do cardio exercises but the point is to get your blood flowing, your body moving and your heart beating. I personally go for a morning jog and do a bit of exercises. Not only does this leave you feeling refreshed but breathing in that fresh air in the morning is very therapeutic.

Adopt Healthier Lifestyle Habits.

Choose water over soda. Choose baked chips and not fried. Choose to read and not sit in front of the tv for hours on end. Reading is a stress-reducing activity and increases your brain power. We now live in a generation where books can be stored on devices so you can read wherever and whenever. Another thing I think is part of adopting a healthier lifestyle is making choices that will make you a better person and will help you become the best version of yourself. This will make you feel better physically and make you feel better about yourself.

The key is to make the right choices. The healthier and better choices. Habits are what dreams are made of.

Prioritize Yourself. ie. Self-Care.

This is very imperative to mastering your emotions. When we do not prioritize ourselves we might find ourselves pouring from an empty cup. It is your own personal responsibility to pour back into yourself. There are many ways to practice self-care and they are all important. We can get so caught up in taking care of other people and making sure that they are okay that we end up neglecting ourselves and that will lead to us feeling frustrated. By taking care of other people and neglecting ourselves, we are choosing to cater to everyone elses emotions except for our own.

Protect your energy. We are often so concerned about the public and the spectators so we end up wanting to please everyone. I think that removing yourself from a situaon or company of people who are draining your energy is an act of self-care. Another act of self-care could be going on a solo-date. Have lunch or dinner by yourself, go do your nails, spend some time alone. Self-care comes in many different forms and looks different to everyone. Whether its eating a piece of cake or having a long introspection of self, whatever you need to do to take care of yourself… do it.

Speak Good Words Over Your Life.

Practice positive thinking and self-empowerment, affirm yourself! I do not think I need to elaborate on this point.

Meditate In The Evening.

In the evening, meditate mindfully. This means taking the time to be in touch with your inner self. Breathe deeply and slowly. This will put your mind at ease and will bring your brain to rest and will smooth out any rough spots of the day.

I hope that this helps you in becoming more in control of your emotions and being emotionally whole and content.

Goapele: move forward.

Goapele – Closer.

a picture of Goapele.

A song that brought about a shift in me.

I was in the car on Tuesday morning, as I was on my way to run a few errands, when this song started playing on the radio. I spent about 30 seconds meditating on speific words from the song and never have I ever been so hopeful. Never have I felt God so strongly and if there really are spirit guides then I surely felt mine that morning.

It wasn’t the first time hearing this song, I’ve heard it many times before – this song is old so I had heard it many times throughout my childhood: on the radio, on the television… anywhere. But never have I heard it the way I did on this particular morning, I did not think it would become so compelling in a time of hopelessness. I can certainly say that this song brought about a shift in me. In my spirit. In my mind.

The song basically talks about reaching your dreams and being closer to your dreams and destiny. I will now talk about specific words/lines from the song that truly spoke to me and have brought a transition in me that I cannot explain but will try to do so as honestly as I can.

“Close your eyes and seek what you believe.”

This was the line that kept resonating in my mind and I felt it in my spirit like a huge wave of hopefulness. How I related to it was that I saw it as another way of saying ‘as a man thinketh, so is he.’ It all starts in the mind and for me to become all that I want to be, I have to see it in my head. Imagine it and believe in it.

I was stuck in a rut of feeling like I will never become what I want to become neither will I leave this place of uncertainty and hopelessness and after hearing this I literally closed my eyes and imagined all I wanted to become and all I wanted to accomplish. And just as I was doing so I heard the next line:

Sometimes it feels like I’ll never go past here
Sometimes it feels like I’m stuck forever, ever 

This was when I felt God and my spirit guide so strongly. How can it possibly be that this song is talking about everything that I am feeling. How can it be putting everything into perspective. I do not believe in ‘coincidence’ but I do believe that God and the universe speak to us all in different ways, through different things, at different times. I believe that God and the spirit that guides each one of us will use people, situations, or in this case even songs to speak to us. To help us find our way back around.

Those two lines are speaking about what everyone in life feels at some point-STUCK. Sometimes you have failure, after failure, after failure. But you have to remember that failure is a key part to success. You come to many closed roads before you can get to the one to your dreams.

Now I was five to crying in gratitude – I was so grateful for this moment. For this song. For helping me realize that every setback will eventually work in my favor and every failure is just paving the way for greatness that is to come.

When I got home I googled Goapele’s name meaning. To my surprise it means ‘to move forward’ in the South African language, Setswana. I mean, come on widdit!! And that is why I decided to name this blog post by her name. It seemed really fitting.

Here is to us reaching our dreams. Here is to us being closer to our dreams. But most importantly, here is to us hearing God’s voice, hearing the universe, and acknowledging our spirit guide in times of desolute.

Disclaimer: lyrics obtained from the Genius Lyrics website: https://genius.com/10976937

Find Your Own Voice in The Noise.

It is so easy to lose sight of who you are and where you are going when you are bombarded by other people’s opinions, successes and the way they move. One starts comparing and contrasting themselves to those around them.

The fact of the matter is that we are all trying to be better and to live better but we do not have the same journey neither do we walk on the same paths. Just because you are not where they are, it does not mean that you cannot find new-found hope. Stop comparing yourself to others, take a step back and remember why you started and what you aim to be and achieve. If it means reminding yourself five times in an hour then so be it! Make it a habit that as soon as you start comparing yourself to the next person, stop and remind yourself who you are, where you are going, and who you are becoming.

Now this mentality can be adopted in all spaces and aspects of your life – your career, your side hustle, your health, your body goals – whatever it is. Do not compare yourself to the next person, the butterfly effect occurs differently [at different times] for all of us.

While we are still at this, I would like to thank every single person that reads my blog, that shares my content and is always open to connecting and interacting with me. I appreciate you all so very much. Thank you.

Today I encourage you to listen to the song ‘Butterfly’ by Cleo Sol and to read the blog post below by another blogger I follow and enjoy reading her posts – #MILLENNIALLIFECRISIS.

Blogging isn’t about picking the right topic; it’s about finding the right voice. Your voice. What matters, what people really resonate with, isn’t so much what you say, but how. People are going to tell if you’re being inauthentic. People are going to be able to tell if you’re writing for attention. People can always […]

Blogging Tip: Stay True to You — #MILLENNIALLIFECRISIS

a small short story about how Grey’s Anatomy elucidated relationships.

Five minutes of an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. That is all it took for me to understand and accept the depth of relationships. Not just relationships that one has with their partner(s) but with their friends, siblings, anyone they associate themselves with on that level.

I am an avid fan and lover of the series Grey’s Anatomy and I can always relate with an episode of it very easily. It is almost if I have an intimate connection with it, somehow. Yet, never did I imagine that Shonda Rhimes’ acclaimed medical drama would make a part of my life make sense to me.

“Just as organ systems are co-dependent for survival, so are human beings. Studies have shown that our happiness and health depend upon our relationships not just functioning but thriving … Sometimes the best we can do for one another is bear each others burdens, ease each others pain, and hold each others hands in the dark,” – Meredith Grey (played by Ellen Pompeo) was the narrator of this scene. Grey’s Anatomy S16 E1

I probably played that scene for about five times – replaying it, pausing it, replaying it again and again because something in me was identifying with those words so very deeply. And then it hit me, almost like an epiphany. The part of me that cared so very much about my relationship with my loved ones and those close to me was having an ‘AHA!’ moment.

Why is it that we feel heartbroken when a friendship ends or when one is going through a rough patch with someone they love? It is because that is not human nature – it does not bring out happiness and neither does it produce good feelings. We, as human beings are drawn to feelings of security and certainty that if there is any detection of uncertainty or disruption, feelings of worry come about. That was the first truth that I came to learn in those five minutes. The second truth was that, and this will be a hard one to swallow for some people, WE ARE ALL CODEPENDENT FOR SURVIVAL AND HAPPINESS. A human being is not an island, we cannot exist without one another, we cannot live without human interaction. Truth is, we all have people, even if it is one person, that we cannot imagine life without and we are dependent on them for feelings of security, love and so on (whether we are conscious of this or not).

Our lives are a series of moments like the one I had. Appearing unannounced and incrementally or instantly giving you the right perspective of something you were not aware that you needed.

2019 Ultimate Highs.

Twenty nineteen has been the most testing year but has simultaneously shown me my strength and I really personified my name ‘Nomzamo’ which directly translates ‘Mother of Perseverance.’

Although 2019 has been long and trying, it has also birthed some of my ultimate best moments and blessings. I am an avid believer in reflecting on the year and looking at the good that has come out of it before entering the new one – just to also send out a bit of gratification. In this article, we will be delving into my ultimate highs of 2019.

1.The Birth of My Blog.

‘Conversations-unheard-of’ came about through my love for writing supported by the belief my partner had in me that my thoughts and opinions put in or as a blog would really slap (that is slang for ‘would really be great’ or anything of that sort).  When I pursued this venture, it was all in the name of ‘giving it a shot’ but little did I know that this would become such a big part of my life and purpose.

Those who know me know that this year I have had to try the hardest I ever had in my life to stay in the light. Starting this blog has been the best thing that I’ve ever done for myself – finding joy and purpose in something non-human and non-materialistic has been very fulfilling. My audience is the reason I keep on keeping on and this blog, on some days, has been the only light I have, my only purpose. Nothing has made me happier this year than to read or hear someone say, ‘that is just what I have always felt and you have put it into words.’ In this moment I am reminded of Mr Tyler Perry’s words which we part of his BET Awards Speech, he said: your creative, your truth will help somebody cross.  You never know what your gift is doing for someone else. Sometimes, if not most times, your gifts and talents are not about you, but they are about the lives you will touch through your gifts and talents.

2.Graduating for my Honours Degree.

On the 9th day of the 4th month of this year, the stars seemed to be aligned – everything seemed to be happening as it should be. I felt so good, I wondered if it was real. But of course it was. That is the day when I graduated for my Honours Degree. In twenty Eighteen I pursued my Honours Degree in Corporate Communications and because it was also such a long and painful year, I had more days when I doubted I’d complete my degree in record time than I felt I would but through God I did. I cannot imagine how I could have simply done it by myself. This has to be one of my highs for this year because this achievement and attaining this degree was proof that through perseverance and prayer there is absolutely nothing I cannot achieve.   

Graduation Day 2019.

3.Picnic with my boyfriend.

Doing something you love with the person you love is always enjoyable and very special. I cannot put into words the way this picnic made me feel neither can I put into words why it is one of my highlights for twenty nineteen but I guess anything concerning intimate feelings and being in perfect love is very hard to explain.

4.Being featured in a podcast.

You know the saying ‘you never know who’s watching,’ well this was downright one of those episodes or predicaments where I asked myself: how?

Thee is a young lady I went to High School with whom I had not been in touch with for years now and she sent me a Direct Message on Instagram asking for a collaboration – she has a podcast. This was the epitome of never knowing who’s watching and who’s rooting for you and your success. This was a solid reminder, also, that we are all part of something bigger than you and I. The universe and God knew that one day this young lady and myself would collaborate. This was definitely a high for me.

5.Turning 23 years old.

Not to sound cliché or anything but many do not live up to this age, I have met a lot of people along the way and a lot have passed on so I do not take this lightly. I have lived for 23 years – that is a very long time, having not encountered any life-threatening diseases or anything of that sort.

I remember when I woke up  on my birthday this year, I was filled with a sense of newness – that the year 23 will bring about a lot of good which will outweigh the bad. Blessings will manifest in the year 23. I will constantly be surrounded by the light and not have to chase it most of the time. Walking into the 23rd year of my life has been a catalyst for change and the renewal in my life. The 27th of November 2019 was definitely one of my highlights for the year. I am grateful for the blessings that this chapter of my life will bring.

An image of me and my best friends on my birthday.

End Note –  I am so very grateful to God for being with me up until today, it was not by my own doings that I find myself here today reflecting on the year. Although not a lot of what I had prayed for and aspired for has happened but I am certain that what was meant to happen in the year 2019 did happen and it was for a reason much bigger than me. I have learnt that I am actually not in control of anything and sometimes that is okay. I am also very grateful for all the friends that carried me through and I am very sure that there were days that I could not have been without them.

Here’s to 2020 🍻