Solange’s Subliminal Messages Expounding My Present Life.

The cover of Solange’s album ‘A Seat At The Table.’
Source: Pinterest.

The other day I was trying to understand the reason for the events of this year that have occurred in my life. As humans we constantly have the urgency to feel like we are in control and to know why certain things occur, which explains why I was so desperately trying to put into perspective all these unpleasant things that have been occuring to me and around me. I failed to define my present self or to find the reason why, so I turned to music to try put my thoughts and feelings into perspective. Finally, Solange’s album was the solid resonance of my life – specifically three songs which I will speak about in this blog post.

Track number two on the album. Weary. This song explicitly yet subliminally conveys the first part of myself. When I took to the internet to find out the vision and idea behind this song, I immediately felt like the lyrics were myself looking right back at me – https://genius.com/Solange-weary-lyrics.

The song starts off with Solange proclaiming that she is weary of the ways of the world. She has grown weary of the ways of the world and she is ready to take care of herself and ready to fight for her purpose. The lines that highlight this for us are the ones “I’m weary of the ways of the world…I’m gonna look for my body yeah, I’ll be back real soon.” These lines of the song speak about me wanting to find my self as an individual in society.

Solange also asks the listeners to question the state of the world – social hierarchy and inequality based on gender, race, or sexuality. ‘But you know that a King is only a man, with flesh and bones, he bleeds just like you do.’ This greatly suggests that he who created a social hierarchy has placed himself on a high pedestal yet he is human, just like you and I. Due to all these inequalities and social injustices, one might end up feeling like there is no place for them in the world, but there is. And we all belong here.

As mentioned before, listening to Weary at this specific time of my life, was a solid resonance of who I am right now. Given that I am an unemployed millennial, I am in a predicament where I am trying to find my place under the sun. The social hierarchy in South Africa, does not make a black woman’s journey any smooth, making it even harder to find my place in society as a black woman. But do I belong? Yes I do just as much as the white woman and white man.

“You’re feeling like you’re chasing the world, you’re leaving not a trace in the world, but you’re facing the world.” This part of the song describes my sense of resilience in trying to find employment, trying to become and basically chasing the world and its riches so that I leave a trace when I am no longer here on earth. This part depicts a series events where I am chasing my dreams, my aspirations and simultaneously fighting against the odds of the world. Which is not a very pleasant predicament.

Solange’s subliminal messages of Weary expound the part of me that – this year – has been trying so hard to make a place for herself in the world. It put into perspective my feelings of self doubt and uncertainty due to questions of whether I belong here, if this is where I am meant to be in this moment. It explained the uncomfortable feeling and weariness that comes with growing, adulting, and becoming.

An image from the Cranes in the Sky music video.
Source: Pinterest.


Cranes In The Sky. Number four on the album. If there has been a song that I have played numerous times on repeat, it has to be Cranes In The Sky. The meaning of this song is not as hidden as the others. It is quite apparent, just like my feelings and actions of this year. Solange describes her attempt at avoiding painful feelings. In an interview, https://www.interviewmagazine.com/music/solange, when asked about this song, Solange says she was in a season where she had to look at herself outside of being a mother and wife as she had just been divorced to her son’s father.

This song speaks about the part of me which is failing to see herself outside of being unemployed with nothing to her name. We all see the world through the lens of how one identifies and has been identified at that time, so at the moment I am identifying as an unemployed 22-year-old looking at the world through the lens of unemployment. One almost feels socially excluded. This song told me to feel every feeling I am feeling, to internalize every thought and emotion but to also, most importantly, work through it. It reminded me of something Chimamanda Adichie said in her Dear Ifeawele read, she suggests that to be a feminist one must be a full person – to not define oneself solely by motherhood/being a wife and in my case, being unemployed.

In the same interview, Solange says that “… every woman in her 20’s has been there, where it feels like no matter what you are doing to fight through the thing that is holding you back, nothing can fill that void.” As if it could not get any better the song then helped me clarify my emotions of void. Nothing can fill the void of being unemployed. Nothing can fill the void of feeling heavy. And that is okay, but the trick is to get through it and to not build a home in those feelings.

The first verse is the epitome of trying to fill the void, trying to avoid painful feelings: I tried to drink it away, I tried to put one in the air, I tried to dance it away, I tried to change it with my hair. We indulge in unhealthy habituals just to get away from constant feelings of self doubt and to escape the ever so present painful reality. This song reminded me of everything I had ever done to fill the void – there were vivid memories of it as I resonated with the lyrics.

But then there is also a part of me that is not so blue and gloomy about this year. Borderline (An Ode To Self Care). Number fourteen on the album. This song speaks about my resilience to preserve myself and to not lose myself to the mess and the ugly that has been staring at me in the face. In this song Solange took us to a time when she explored the tricky balance of engagement with the world’s struggles and the need for self-preservation.

I am one to want privacy and to protect parts of me in a world where everything is made public, in a world where some humans actually live on and in tiny devices. We are living in a time where people can very well express themselves through emojis and memes but struggle to do so in spoken words. We live in a time where our minds are so muddled that they feel like a complicated space to navigate and visions of ourselves are almost pixelated images. Self care and self preservation is the only way to survive all of this.

Although I am living in it, I am not a part of that time, thanks to self care and self preservation. It is so important to preserve the sentimental parts of yourself so that you do not run dry.

So this week I give thanks to Solange’s subliminal messages which expounded my present life. A Seat At The Table really makes me feel like I have a seat in the world despite the social hierarchy and despite the feelings of heaviness that come with not being the person you envisioned yourself to be. It made me feel like yes I belong, we all belong among the stars despite all odds being against us as individuals.

Week Four of Consistent Gratitude.

This morning something so revolutionary occurred. I was in bed and I felt my heart beat and I told myself that I have a purpose. I felt like I was reclaiming my life consciously and not just saying it – it was a very reassuring moment for me.

This Sunday I am grateful for life – I thank God that I am here breathing. I am grateful for self-awareness; so many of us unconsciously walk through life and we need to realise that that itself is not okay. The need to own your emotions, own your self, to own your thoughts is very vital. I am someone that is always so greatly aware of my thoughts, my emotions, and my self and I find this ability to be such a blessing. There is nothing as powerful as being one with your self.

Although, this past week I was mostly feeling like a child failing to adult successfully, I am grateful for Sundays that give me a chance to put into perspective my ways and thoughts so that this coming week is better than the last. Sundays give me a chance to forgive myself for being so hard on myself and to surrender to life. I am thankful for the knowing that I can re-evaluate my life and choose how I want to go forth with this journey of life.

Ever since I started blogging, it has become some form of therapy for me. I find healing in releasing and creating, its very therapeutic and for this reason I am thankful for life cause without it I wouldn’t have reached this point. Sunday gratitude also allows for vital re-adjustments to happen, it is accepting that okay this is where I’m at right now, what can I do to be better and to do better.

Sundays are gentle reminders that I am a wonder, Gods greatest creation and I hold the power I seek, the love I seek and that I am constantly unbecoming to become; unlearning to learn. Even though I am not where I want to be but I believe that I am where I need to be in this moment.

In closing, I would like to say that consistent gratitude is something that I think we should all partake in. Its opens up a channel for all life’s blessings to fall through. I have come to the end of my consistent gratitude challenge but I will obviously continue doing this but will not blog about it the way I have been.

Boldly Celebrate Yourself.

It was a Thursday morning and I was reflecting on the things I’ve been through – good and bad, so that includes my achievements and the storms I’ve been through and come out stronger than before. I then had a moment where I was really proud of myself and wanted to celebrate myself and my victories by posting something on social media. But I didn’t because I thought that this move would be perceived as ‘boastful.’

But why is that? Why is it that as human beings – I generalise because I know that I am not the only one – we think twice or even three times about giving ourselves a pat on the shoulder just as a reminder that “hey, even though you are not who you want to be as yet neither are you where you want to be as yet, but you are becoming and have achieved so much. You are here. Right now that is enough and that is worth celebrating.”

As I think of my closest friends, I am struck by a moment of sonder – we are all complex and unique in a way that one can never fully comprehend so why search for validation from another being to celebrate your own victories that only you know about and understand.

There is a saying by Lao Tzu “Care about what others think and you will always be their prisoner.” By thinking that I would be perceived as being boastful by celebrating myself, essentially what I was doing was unintentionally volunteering for a trapped existence of discontent. Why was I not content with just having a one-man celebration of myself? Why can we not be content with just ourselves knowing that we are worth celebrating with or without another person’s validation?

The truth is if we want to blaze our own brilliant trail through this life and be happy, we have to unlearn this thing of thinking that our lives, our victories, our achievements, are only worth celebrating if there is a second or third person to confirm and validate this. If you wake up in the morning and you feel like having a thread on your social media platform of your achievements, go for it, and do not apologize for it. Simply because nobody knows what it took for you to get to where you are. It does not even have to be on social media, speak good words to yourself, be kinder to yourself. Stop being your worst critic.

If it is important to you and is mentally and emotionally good for you, GO FOR IT! Stop apologizing for boldly celebrating yourself. Celebrate yourself and your victories unapologetically. I want to challenge you for this week: as you step into the new week, make it a point to boldly celebrate something about you that you love or a time you thought you weren’t going to make it but you did. Celebrate also the bad habits you have cut ties with such as giving yourself to people that no longer serve you because that is a step towards loving yourself better and that is worth celebrating.

Be a sunflower: keep your head up towards the sun.

Love and Light To You. 

Wholeness: A feeling and state of being.

Wholeness / noun

  1. the state of forming a complete and harmonious whole; unity.
  2. the state of being sound in mind and body.

This is how the Miriam Webster dictionary defines the term ‘wholeness’ but how would you define ‘wholeness?’ Acclaimed by wellness centres and guru’s alike, some might find that this promise was kept or broken. Or perhaps you might view ‘wholeness’ as a hopeful wish to one day “be made whole.” One thing I am certain of is that we are all yearning for a sense of being whole but we are often looking or going about it the wrong way.

A few weeks ago I found myself having a self-intervention; I was tired of feeling like I am out of tune with myself, that everything I am doing is meaningless, that I am not ‘whole’ because pieces of me are all over the place. During this self-intervention I had to reflect and accept that I am out of balance and that I had to salvage myself and reclaim my balance. Most of my blogs are sparked by conversations that transpired between me and the people in my life or the people I have met along my ongoing-journey, and this one was sparked by a conversation I had with a person I know after they asked me how I managed to regain my balance after feeling so out of balance.

To progress one must reflect.

If there is one thing I have come to believe in is the power of reflecting. There is nothing as powerful as sitting in a quiet space and reflecting on everything I have done for the past weeks or months. The first thing that my self-intervention consisted of was reflecting on what I have been spending my time on, with whom have I been spending my time with and what have I been releasing to the universe through my thoughts and words. Reflecting on the past weeks led to me knowing why I was feeling out of tune with myself and why I felt out of balance. I was not being intentional with my actions neither was I mindful of the words I spoke to myself and to others. Reflecting allowed me to start over on a clean slate – to re-evaluate my life and choose how I want to go forth with my journey of life – and I strongly believe that this can work for you too.

Being mindful of my words and acting out of intent.

Reflecting on my life always leads me to a place of introspection and leads me to making uncomfortable but vital re-adjustments to my life. This is the part where I am really grateful for all the times I made bad life decisions such as spending my last money on food and adult juice (you know the juice with the special secret ingredient that makes us all feel so happy and carefree that kids underage don’t need because being a child comes with no adult issues) – because if it were not for all those bad-life-decisions I would not have been sitting in my room last week with the realisaion that I have not been intentional neither have I been mindful of anything I do or say hence I felt so disintegrated. So I made a conscious decision that I would start being intentional and ever since, my days have been way more productive, my creativity waves have been flowing more and there is meaning in everything I do. AND BOY ITS SUCH A REFRESHING AND POWERFUL FEELING! You can do anything you want to do and actually see your positive thoughts come to life just because of your intentional actions and being more mindful of your words. 

Being grateful of today and hopeful of tomorrow.

Okay I know I’ve probably overused the word ‘powerful’ but I promise you there is nothing as powerful as waking up at 07h00 (or even earlier) and sending your gratitude to Higher Powers for today and being hopeful of tomorrow and ending your day off at 22h00 by doing the same thing. I have been doing this for the past week and I have been feeling so good and I’ve seen that hey, I am actually more blessed than I thought. By doing all of the things I have mentioned, you invite into your life more blessings, more opportunities and you allow yourself to grow into the person you want to be. 

Being disintegrated and feeling like I am all over the place has ushered me into a good space where I feel whole again through reflection, intent, gratitude, and hope. Lastly, remember that being whole is a feeling and state of being therefore you will move in and out of wholeness – which is not a bad thing but like the sun you need to find your way back around. Wholeness is not so much a thing ever fully acquired or achieved – in actual essence it is not something you go searching for at wellness centres neither is it something you spend your money on guru’s for – no it is a gradual process of becoming.

Move towards the light and find your state of wholeness.

cheers to steadily being whole.