Goapele: move forward.

Goapele – Closer.

a picture of Goapele.

A song that brought about a shift in me.

I was in the car on Tuesday morning, as I was on my way to run a few errands, when this song started playing on the radio. I spent about 30 seconds meditating on speific words from the song and never have I ever been so hopeful. Never have I felt God so strongly and if there really are spirit guides then I surely felt mine that morning.

It wasn’t the first time hearing this song, I’ve heard it many times before – this song is old so I had heard it many times throughout my childhood: on the radio, on the television… anywhere. But never have I heard it the way I did on this particular morning, I did not think it would become so compelling in a time of hopelessness. I can certainly say that this song brought about a shift in me. In my spirit. In my mind.

The song basically talks about reaching your dreams and being closer to your dreams and destiny. I will now talk about specific words/lines from the song that truly spoke to me and have brought a transition in me that I cannot explain but will try to do so as honestly as I can.

“Close your eyes and seek what you believe.”

This was the line that kept resonating in my mind and I felt it in my spirit like a huge wave of hopefulness. How I related to it was that I saw it as another way of saying ‘as a man thinketh, so is he.’ It all starts in the mind and for me to become all that I want to be, I have to see it in my head. Imagine it and believe in it.

I was stuck in a rut of feeling like I will never become what I want to become neither will I leave this place of uncertainty and hopelessness and after hearing this I literally closed my eyes and imagined all I wanted to become and all I wanted to accomplish. And just as I was doing so I heard the next line:

Sometimes it feels like I’ll never go past here
Sometimes it feels like I’m stuck forever, ever 

This was when I felt God and my spirit guide so strongly. How can it possibly be that this song is talking about everything that I am feeling. How can it be putting everything into perspective. I do not believe in ‘coincidence’ but I do believe that God and the universe speak to us all in different ways, through different things, at different times. I believe that God and the spirit that guides each one of us will use people, situations, or in this case even songs to speak to us. To help us find our way back around.

Those two lines are speaking about what everyone in life feels at some point-STUCK. Sometimes you have failure, after failure, after failure. But you have to remember that failure is a key part to success. You come to many closed roads before you can get to the one to your dreams.

Now I was five to crying in gratitude – I was so grateful for this moment. For this song. For helping me realize that every setback will eventually work in my favor and every failure is just paving the way for greatness that is to come.

When I got home I googled Goapele’s name meaning. To my surprise it means ‘to move forward’ in the South African language, Setswana. I mean, come on widdit!! And that is why I decided to name this blog post by her name. It seemed really fitting.

Here is to us reaching our dreams. Here is to us being closer to our dreams. But most importantly, here is to us hearing God’s voice, hearing the universe, and acknowledging our spirit guide in times of desolute.

Disclaimer: lyrics obtained from the Genius Lyrics website: https://genius.com/10976937

To Being Limitless and Fearless.

Zoe Modiga once said, ‘I am iconic because I am alive.’ What a bold statement I thought.

As I enter year 23, I have been reflecting on year 22 a lot and for some reason – which I have come to see that it is a profound one – I truly resonate and relate with Zoe Modiga’s very bold yet very true statement. What a brave thing it is to be alive. To continuously go through seasons of ruins yet still conquer. To keep on keeping on despite all odds being against you. I am bravery personified. I am courage personified.

As I turn 23 and enter a new year in my life, I have two aspirations:

1. To Live in Perfect Peace.

During the year 22 I found myself in constant turmoil with myself. Most of the time it felt like I had a love-hate relationship with myself. Most days I did not feel 22, I felt like I was a 40-year-old woman going through a midlife crisis. But I suppose that is how growth is supposed to feel –  very uncomfortable, very ungiving, feelings of insecurity of your future, your journey – basically feeling like you are giving more than what you are getting and you’re a complete joke.

But I want this new year to consist of peaceful growth, to have more days where I feel like a 23-year-old. I want my soul to be at peace, my mind to be sound at all times if not most times, and my spirit to be in sync with God.

2. To Be Limitless and Fearless.

During year 22 I was always being boxed and limited. Year 23 should be all about being limitless and fearless. That is how most of our twenties should be, having limitless dreams and working on them fearlessly. I am going for gold and going for everything that life has to offer this year. The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person that you were intended to be. This year, I will not ask for permission. Neither should you. I aspire to get what I need and what I want. And so should you. As a 22-year-old I had been asking for permission to live my life and most of the time I was being told “yes you may, but not like that. Not the way you want to.” So in this moment I make a promise to myself to not wait for someone else to grant me permission to get what I need.

In closing I am reminded of a verse from the bible, Isaiah 43 vs 19:

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wastelands.”

So, cheers to God blowing my mind. Cheers to a new year. Cheers to a rebirth.

Week One of Consistent Gratitude.

So the theme is ‘four weeks of consistent gratitude’ and this is my first week entry. Looking back at my diary entry last Sunday, the 15th of September, I can boldly say that I am most grateful that I had a fruitful week. Last Sunday, I wrote down that I would like to be intentional, to be consistent in all that I do and to be hopeful. I send gratitude to God and the universe because all of this has happened this past week.

I wanted to be intentional, to do things and say things with intent so that I do not feel as if life is just passing me by. The moment I released that into the universe and included that in my prayers, I was very mindful of my words and actions. I believe that this would not have been as easy if I had not included God in my plans, and for that I thank Him.

I also send gratitude for consistency. Having enough discipline to be consistent is very hard. I have to pray for this and to really push myself to be consistent. I decided that I would not have coffee this whole week and I actually managed, the cup I am having right now is the first I am having since last Sunday. Everyone who knows me knows that coffee and I ‘sika nje’ and for non-Zulu speakers that means ‘we are one.’ I was also consistent with working out, this past week I went jogging for two days, jumped rope for the other three days and Saturday was rest day. This was a major level-up for me because I had been ‘resting’ for the whole of the previous week.

Being hopeful is hard when you are 22 and your life does not seem to be going the way you envisioned it to go, so this is also something I pray for: hope. God answered this prayer and reminded me that it is only in Him where I will find everlasting hope and that He is still very mindful of me.

Side Note: being grateful and sending gratitude is very easy and fulfilling when one does not wait for that big prayer to be answered or for that big dream to come true. Life is progressive and everything happens in due time, and once we start allowing that to marinate in our hearts and minds – life becomes more rewarding and fulfilling.   

Sunday Gratitude.

I am a firm believer of sending out gratitude on a Sunday to set the tone of your upcoming week.

If you are a consistent reader of my blog, you have probably realised that on Sundays I love to reflect on the past week [past 6 days] and to also send out gratitude to God and the Universe for all that has transpired – the losses, the blessings, the process of becoming and unbecoming, the process of learning and unlearning, as well as for life. It has become a fully-fledged ritual.

The Oxford dictionary defines ‘gratitude’ as the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness and it also has the word ‘recognition’ as a synonym. This definition enlightened something important to me and that is: to send out gratitude one has to be  self-aware and in tune with themselves, my intuition has to recognize. I cannot be grateful and recognize my blessings and all the things that are happening to me and through me, if I allow myself to be swayed by current substandard situations. Yes, I may (and definitely should) be moved but that should not lead to me being oblivious to everything good.

To Recognize.

The word ‘recognize’ – in the Oxford dictionary – is a verb and is defined as ‘to acknowledge the existence, validity, or legality of.’ I would like to just focus on the first part of this definition – to acknowledge the existence of. As I mentioned above, I truly believe that my intuition has to recognize, on a deeper level, all that I can and should send out gratitude for. In the midst of all the atrocious cruelties we are currently facing in our country, we are left in a sphere of hopelessness and despondency but I strongly believe that there is still a bit of space left to take some time and send out a bit gratitude.

Consciously, our minds are weary of the ways of the world, of our fellow sisters being kidnapped, raped, and murdered but our intuition – through our subconscious – is able to say to us ‘hey listen, I know that all of this is happening but you made it out of bed this past week, 6 mornings in a row, you made it home after a day at work, do not take that lightly.’ See thing is, it doesn’t have to take something ground-breaking for one to be grateful.

This Sunday, I am grateful for the people that love me, for the people that reciprocate what I give to them. I am also so very grateful for the many times I have made it home this past week even though so much is happening in our country. I am so grateful for God, His love, His blessings, for the fact that He hears my prayers and responds to them, and for fulfilling His promises in my life. I am grateful, also, for the Universe – that it listens to me and responds to me. That it is aligning my destiny for me, that I have received what I have let out into the Universe.

So why not step into your intuition and try to thank whatever higher powers you believe in for all that you have and all that you are yet to receive. Gratitude is a very powerful form of subliminally speaking your dreams and hopes into life.

Aptitude in Gratitude.

Psychologically, gratitude is defined as an emotion expressing appreciation for what one has – as opposed to what one does not have (https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/basics/gratitude)

By expressing gratitude, this places us, as humans, in a space where we are not always reaching for something new in hopes it will make us happier, more content, or thinking that we will not be happy until we have achieved or received that very thing. Gratitude is not a means of turning a blind eye to what one has not achieved but it merely just saying, ‘okay I know I do not have this but I am grateful for what I do have which is so much.’ Gratitude helps us refocus on what we have than what we do not have. Essentially, when we recognize, appreciate, and affirm all the good things we have in life; we are bound to receive more goodness. Which will set the tone of your week.