2019 Ultimate Highs.

Twenty nineteen has been the most testing year but has simultaneously shown me my strength and I really personified my name ‘Nomzamo’ which directly translates ‘Mother of Perseverance.’

Although 2019 has been long and trying, it has also birthed some of my ultimate best moments and blessings. I am an avid believer in reflecting on the year and looking at the good that has come out of it before entering the new one – just to also send out a bit of gratification. In this article, we will be delving into my ultimate highs of 2019.

1.The Birth of My Blog.

‘Conversations-unheard-of’ came about through my love for writing supported by the belief my partner had in me that my thoughts and opinions put in or as a blog would really slap (that is slang for ‘would really be great’ or anything of that sort).  When I pursued this venture, it was all in the name of ‘giving it a shot’ but little did I know that this would become such a big part of my life and purpose.

Those who know me know that this year I have had to try the hardest I ever had in my life to stay in the light. Starting this blog has been the best thing that I’ve ever done for myself – finding joy and purpose in something non-human and non-materialistic has been very fulfilling. My audience is the reason I keep on keeping on and this blog, on some days, has been the only light I have, my only purpose. Nothing has made me happier this year than to read or hear someone say, ‘that is just what I have always felt and you have put it into words.’ In this moment I am reminded of Mr Tyler Perry’s words which we part of his BET Awards Speech, he said: your creative, your truth will help somebody cross.  You never know what your gift is doing for someone else. Sometimes, if not most times, your gifts and talents are not about you, but they are about the lives you will touch through your gifts and talents.

2.Graduating for my Honours Degree.

On the 9th day of the 4th month of this year, the stars seemed to be aligned – everything seemed to be happening as it should be. I felt so good, I wondered if it was real. But of course it was. That is the day when I graduated for my Honours Degree. In twenty Eighteen I pursued my Honours Degree in Corporate Communications and because it was also such a long and painful year, I had more days when I doubted I’d complete my degree in record time than I felt I would but through God I did. I cannot imagine how I could have simply done it by myself. This has to be one of my highs for this year because this achievement and attaining this degree was proof that through perseverance and prayer there is absolutely nothing I cannot achieve.   

Graduation Day 2019.

3.Picnic with my boyfriend.

Doing something you love with the person you love is always enjoyable and very special. I cannot put into words the way this picnic made me feel neither can I put into words why it is one of my highlights for twenty nineteen but I guess anything concerning intimate feelings and being in perfect love is very hard to explain.

4.Being featured in a podcast.

You know the saying ‘you never know who’s watching,’ well this was downright one of those episodes or predicaments where I asked myself: how?

Thee is a young lady I went to High School with whom I had not been in touch with for years now and she sent me a Direct Message on Instagram asking for a collaboration – she has a podcast. This was the epitome of never knowing who’s watching and who’s rooting for you and your success. This was a solid reminder, also, that we are all part of something bigger than you and I. The universe and God knew that one day this young lady and myself would collaborate. This was definitely a high for me.

5.Turning 23 years old.

Not to sound cliché or anything but many do not live up to this age, I have met a lot of people along the way and a lot have passed on so I do not take this lightly. I have lived for 23 years – that is a very long time, having not encountered any life-threatening diseases or anything of that sort.

I remember when I woke up  on my birthday this year, I was filled with a sense of newness – that the year 23 will bring about a lot of good which will outweigh the bad. Blessings will manifest in the year 23. I will constantly be surrounded by the light and not have to chase it most of the time. Walking into the 23rd year of my life has been a catalyst for change and the renewal in my life. The 27th of November 2019 was definitely one of my highlights for the year. I am grateful for the blessings that this chapter of my life will bring.

An image of me and my best friends on my birthday.

End Note –  I am so very grateful to God for being with me up until today, it was not by my own doings that I find myself here today reflecting on the year. Although not a lot of what I had prayed for and aspired for has happened but I am certain that what was meant to happen in the year 2019 did happen and it was for a reason much bigger than me. I have learnt that I am actually not in control of anything and sometimes that is okay. I am also very grateful for all the friends that carried me through and I am very sure that there were days that I could not have been without them.

Here’s to 2020 🍻

Week Four of Consistent Gratitude.

This morning something so revolutionary occurred. I was in bed and I felt my heart beat and I told myself that I have a purpose. I felt like I was reclaiming my life consciously and not just saying it – it was a very reassuring moment for me.

This Sunday I am grateful for life – I thank God that I am here breathing. I am grateful for self-awareness; so many of us unconsciously walk through life and we need to realise that that itself is not okay. The need to own your emotions, own your self, to own your thoughts is very vital. I am someone that is always so greatly aware of my thoughts, my emotions, and my self and I find this ability to be such a blessing. There is nothing as powerful as being one with your self.

Although, this past week I was mostly feeling like a child failing to adult successfully, I am grateful for Sundays that give me a chance to put into perspective my ways and thoughts so that this coming week is better than the last. Sundays give me a chance to forgive myself for being so hard on myself and to surrender to life. I am thankful for the knowing that I can re-evaluate my life and choose how I want to go forth with this journey of life.

Ever since I started blogging, it has become some form of therapy for me. I find healing in releasing and creating, its very therapeutic and for this reason I am thankful for life cause without it I wouldn’t have reached this point. Sunday gratitude also allows for vital re-adjustments to happen, it is accepting that okay this is where I’m at right now, what can I do to be better and to do better.

Sundays are gentle reminders that I am a wonder, Gods greatest creation and I hold the power I seek, the love I seek and that I am constantly unbecoming to become; unlearning to learn. Even though I am not where I want to be but I believe that I am where I need to be in this moment.

In closing, I would like to say that consistent gratitude is something that I think we should all partake in. Its opens up a channel for all life’s blessings to fall through. I have come to the end of my consistent gratitude challenge but I will obviously continue doing this but will not blog about it the way I have been.

Sundays Are Days of Reflection.

I somehow, unconsciously, always end up in deep reflection of my passed week on Sundays. But this Sunday, I was in deep reflection of just today and what dawned on me was that we are never in control.

We all like being in control of what transpires in our lives and we all want to be certain but the complex truth is that we are never in control and we can never be in control of anything because what is control of everything is something bigger than all of us.

Now, this is not to say that one should not be in control of their lives or that all of that is futile but what I am trying to point out is that life is complex so why do we as human beings think we can be in control of something so much bigger and more complex than us.

I don’t know if anyone has ever noticed how we all make plans. We plan out our days, our weeks, our months but most of the time, those plans do not happen or pan out the way we intended for them to. We may tick the boxes of everything we wanted to do but maybe the way it came together at the end or the changes we had to make in order for it to all occur was not the manner in which we intended for it to occur.

The only thing we are in control of as human beings is our emotions, our thoughts, and everything that lives within each one of us. We can never be certain of anything because we are not in control of anything. The only power we have, as individuals, is being in control of everything that flows within.

Nothing is as powerful as being in control of your emotions and mental state in a world where we are all like thermostats, reacting to everything happening around us and to us – abandoning what is going on inside of us.

So this week I want to challenge you and I to stay calm, no matter how strong the waves of the storm, and to focus on being in control of what we can control – our thoughts, our emotions and everything that flows within.